


I found no cure for loneliness (i found no cure for the sickness)

by trashystories



Series: music is therapy but you’re my drug [2]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Good Sibling Vanya Hargreeves, Hurt Number Five | The Boy, Hurt/Comfort, No Incest, Number Five | The Boy Has Issues, Number Five | The Boy Needs A Hug, Number Five | The Boy has PTSD, Platonic Cuddling, Touch-Starved, Vanya Hargreeves Deserves Better, Vanya Hargreeves Needs A Hug, but not as many issues as me HAHA, me too vanya me too, no beta we die like ben
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:49:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24388459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trashystories/pseuds/trashystories
Summary: “You’re not a monster, Vanya”.She shifted slightly, moving her head slightly from atop his to search his eyes. After a brief moment, she smiled.“Neither are you”.ORFive is, once again, hella sad. Vanya is too tbh. They’re both trying the best and I love them for that. Fluff and angst? what a surprise.
Relationships: Dolores/Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy), Number Five | The Boy & Allison Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Ben Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Diego Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Klaus Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Luther Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Vanya Hargreeves
Series: music is therapy but you’re my drug [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1759588
Comments: 14
Kudos: 267





	I found no cure for loneliness (i found no cure for the sickness)

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen, to me being really sad and you guys not caring and just reading what my sadness writes.
> 
> In another news I worry that I share too much to you strangers on the internet - like everybody knows i’m projecting my feelings into my writing. 
> 
> Okay but also who cares i’m doing my best. I really don’t know if i should put my instagram on here because why would i do that? unless everyone actually liked my writing and wanted more, then you could all harass me until i got around to it.
> 
> I say get around to it but really okay this is literally one day after my last story in this series.
> 
> Again, i have not read over this. Sorry if it sucks but you signed up for this.

They say everything has a cost.

Everyone pays some sort of price for the “gift” of their existence. Everything has consequences. Some worse than others, sure, but each damaging in their own way. 

In a small, lonely apartment, the silence that settled over the furniture was broken by a soft, yet heartbreaking sob. Alone, curled in a mess of covers and tissues, was a small, broken boy. In reality, he was actually 58 years old, but for now, in this snippet of time, he was nothing but a scared, lost child. 

It wasn’t even his apartment, it was his sisters, yet he knew she wouldn’t be back for at least a few more hours, and he needed to find an escape from his insistent, well-meaning siblings. 

He needed to let out the absolute train wreck of emotions that had been building up within him for weeks. 

He stopped the apocalypse. He did. But in turn, he sacrificed the most important thing he had ever had. 

Love. 

Delores was gone. He knew she was just a mannequin physically, but he had spent so long with her, he didn’t know how to function without her calming voice, her rational mind, her tender comfort. 

He’d never felt so alone surrounded by so many people. He had his family, and they were great, but they were not there when he needed him (not that it was their fault). Delores was. 

He was a villain, to destroy something so pure. He always tried to deny it, but he was a cold-hearted killer. He always would be. 

So caught up in his self deprecating thoughts, he did not see the click of the lock, did not hear the soft footsteps approach him, did not feel the bed dip ever so slightly next to him. 

“Five? What’s wrong?”

For one terrible yet blissful moment he thought it was Delores. But, instead, he realised it was Vanya, accompanied by her gentle tone and caring eyes. 

In that moment, he didn’t know why he was hiding. Why shouldn’t she know? She wouldn’t think any less of him, seeing as she understands what it is like to feel love and to feel loss. 

So, he told her. In between hiccups and sobs, with salty tears staining his face, and she said nothing, but she listened and she pulled him close, and he buried himself even more into her. 

They stayed in silence for a long time. Vanya did not try to undermine how he felt, she didn’t dare offer a solution that was not there, but her presence made it all the more bearable. 

* * *

_“Five?”_

_His door was pushed open in the dead of night, interrupting his equation work, which in all honesty had lost sense a while ago._

_“Vanya? What’s wrong?”_

_She said nothing, but brought her small fists up to her eyes and rubbed furiously as she tried to calm her hiccuping breath._

_“Hey, hey, It’s okay”_

_He stepped back from his wall and toward her, pulling her toward his bed where they both wrapped themselves in covers, and he held her close to him as though the world would end in a minute._

_“What’s wrong?”_

_And she told him._

_All about how lonely she felt, the love she longed for, and how sad she was, all the time. And he said nothing, but he listened, and he pulled her impossibly closer, and kissed the tears on her cheeks away, running his fingers through her hair until she fell asleep._

* * *

After a while, when the tears had long since dried from his face and his breathing had evened out to something close to calm, Five had started to reflect on Vanya, and how how love had ended in a brutal, painful murder. How even though he was the one stabbed to death, she was the one stabbed in the back. 

“You’re not a monster, Vanya”.

She shifted slightly, moving her head slightly from atop his to search his eyes. After a brief moment, she smiled. 

“Neither are you”.

The words sat heavy in his heart. He knew he should protest, the people he had killed, _delores_ , being a prime example as to how hideous he really was. But he didn’t. Instead, he offered a small smile too, and she kissed his cheek and ran her fingers through his hair. 

The final thought Five had, as he was drifting out of consciousness, was that maybe he hadn’t lost his love after all. Maybe it had always been with him. 

* * *

They stayed like that for the whole night, asleep against each other, two healing souls against the world. 

**Author's Note:**

> YOU DID IT! You finished the story! I am so proud of you, I love you. Please kudos and comment so I get the validation I crave.


End file.
